Writer's Block

I woke up this morning intending to begin on an erotic historical piece.  I'd gone over dialogue in my sleep and knew exactly how I want to proceed.  But, a inexplicable sadness hung over me all day and words just would not come. I tried to work on an edit that I printed out last night to work on today.  Again, I just couldn't concentrate on anything productive.  Finally, I gave up and cleaned out my Farmville giftbox.

Then about 8pm, I got the news my spirit had been waiting for all day.  A dear friend had been found dead in her home.  She and I had worked together for almost 10 years, but had lost track of each other, when within weeks, we both got fired.  I'd been so busy trying to get my head together, that I hadn't thought about Dottie in months.

But, tonight when I heard that she was gone, I felt a wave of emotion crash over my soul.  Strongest was anger with the hospital where we'd worked for so many years.  They fired her, knowing she had health problems, knowing losing her insurance would mean not getting her medications and access to specialists, knowing she was a single parent.  And they did it without a blink.  I know the hospital is in business to make money, but damn.

As I sit here,  updating my status, fielding questions from mutual friends, I feel so guilty.  I have so many people in my corner, wanting for me to succeed as a writer and Dottie didn't have anyone.  No close family, no lovers and if I am example...no friends.

Intellectually, I know that there is probably nothing that I could have done differently that would  have Dottie alive today. But in my heart, I also know that I let a friend down.  She died alone on a kitchen floor.  I can't remember if I ever told her how much I valued her friendship.  And now I never can.

Tonight, I feel my mortality.

Social Networking

I have discovered the joys of networking. Among my new "friends on Facebook, I have established authors, spoken word artist, aspiring writers and book reviewers. Writers from every genre have graciously allowed me to become a fly on their walls. I even picked up my very own "Literary Fairy God-Mother". A professional editor who read a brief prologue of mine and helped me to tweak it.  Gotta love a woman who with a few minor edits makes me better.

There is so much more to this writing gig than just typing words into the computer.

What I've learned this week:

Since I started sharing about my literary aspiration, quite a few of my friends have come out of the closet. A guy I went to high school with is an independent author. He utilizes both print and e-publishing. Another friend, who is an accountant, clued me into the fact that she had self-published a book years ago and would like to get back into writing. Still, another friend shared that she was not a writer, but her 13yo daughter was already showing signs of being a wordsmith. I love it.  If I can help someone else to feed their creative soul with words, I can justify every breath I take.



Also learned that many established writers are willing and eager to offer advice and encouragement. I don't want to become a cyber stalker, so I tend to just write little notes when someone accepts my friend request. In response, I have received a fair number of commercial posts to buy this book or that. But I have also received personal words of support. I can't tell you how thrilling it is to read a post from someone whose book is sitting on your shelf. Those post, somehow, make me feel one step closer to making my dream a reality.



I think my favorite new friends are the pre-published authors. More than anyone else...we understand each other. Non-writers watch in fascination as we agonize with finding just the right words to breath life into our characters. Established writers can become so jaded that they forget the hunger. But another writer who is just beginning to work up the courage to share their words with others...gets it. I don't know if there will ever come a time when I look at a book contrast with bored disdain. But I doubt, for a writer, if anything can compare to the rush of that first book deal.



Finally, I'm learning that all e-publishing is not created equal. To be honest. I never thought about submitting to an e-publishers. In my mind, I kinda classified them as a step sib to "real book publishing". I couldn't have been more wrong. Not only is e-publishing a million dollar industry, but for some genre, it is the ONLY option. For someone like me, who wants to introduce paranormal plots that have a little more flavor than True Blood or Twilight, e-publishing may even be the best choice.



One of my mentors sent me a comparison chart of some of the major e-publishers. Reputable companies aren't too much different that print publishers. The process of sifting the gold from the dross is pretty much the same. On the other hand, there are companies that allow a writer to sell their work, no matter how poorly written, without external review. It might be nice to have an ebook to sell to family and friends, but even with a small readership, my pride would want a fresh set of eyes to evaluate my work. Hell, my name is on that book. I want to be published, but I also want to be remember. And not for putting out second-rate trash.

Dak and Elise got pushed to the side this week. PortiadeMoncur.com should be online in the next week or so.  I'm working the last edits on a series of shorts that I'll offer online.  As for writing, I'm working on  breathing life into a friend's fantasy. Have a few interviews lined up with interracial couples. Been a while since I was with a white boy, wonder if the rules have changed.  Doubt it ;-)

Happy writing,
Portia

Elisa Royale

I think I found her.  Elisa is a nice girl.  Almost boring.  She is a math geek and is a senior manager at a aeronautics firm.  Currently unemployed she heads to the Bahamas when she learns her father is missing.  I haven't figured out how to set up a poll, so just leave a comment in the box...I'll get it.

Predictability and Plausibility

I figured out a long time ago what my reading pet peeves are.  Predictability and Plausibility.  If I can tell who did it two chapters in, that book may not get finished.  Same goes for plausibility.  Too many coincidences and the author loses street cred with me.  I need a reason to turn that page.

Last night, I was still trying to come up with a plausible reason for Dakheel to lash out, in Deadly Paradise.  This is not the beginning of story, but it's what sparked my interest to create Dak's story.  I asked a dozen male FB friends what they thought would set a man off, other than cheating.  I was very surprised by the response.  Almost all of them replied lies and/or secrets.

So, today I sat down and began working on my plot outline.  I usually start with a general idea of my character.  Then I troll the Internet until I find an image that brings that character to life for me.  I was pleased with the image that I came up with for Dakheel.  (Even though the model is Indian and not Algerian, he had the look I was going for.)  Elisa is still an vague image in my head.  I'm starting to see her character, but her face still eludes me.  All I do know is that she is going to screw up big time, probably with a lie of omission.

I decided on Huntsville and Nassau, as primary settings, because I am familiar with both of those locales, and wouldn't have to waste time with a lot of pre-writing research.  Also, there are some social issues, I would like to explore.

Then, I usually work on my bad guy.  In this case, I wanted him to be smooth and not necessarily evil, but definitely self-centered.  Think I've come up with a character I am going to love to hate.

I made it to Chapter 6 in my outline, before life got in the way.  I know how this is going to end...just not sure of the journey.

The New Man in my life

Last night I asked my Facebook friends to help me create a character.  I couldn't see him clearly.  Just felt the impact of his fist as he hit the plaster behind a woman's head.  I could hear see him rest his head on the wall and whisper, so only she could hear, "do you love me?.  That's it.  Nothing else. 

Today, I know him much better.

Meet Dakheel Hason Katton. 32 years old,  he is the son of an Algerian textile merchant.  They create high quality linen sold throughout the world.  His mother is European.  Sadly, she died when he was only 6 years old.  He was raised in London,by his maternal grandparents, but spent his summers with his Father.  His name means beautiful foreigner.   He loves the desert and the culture of his father, but also appreciates the hustle and bustle of London.  He has been educated in the US, UK and Saudi Arabia.  He speaks English, Arabic, Spanish and French.  He can read Latin and hold a decent conversation in Japanese.   He has a pretty good relationship with his siblings.  Thanks, in part to his father' wife.  She has never held the circumstances of his birth against him.  Always treated him as one of her own.  He has it all, but does not have a place that he call home.  But all of that is about to change.

Dak is the Bahamas to survey  a potential site for his family's business.  He becomes involved with, Elisa Royale, a woman who ignites protective instincts he didn't know he had.  She has become his obsession.  Unfortunately, she has a secret that is going to test this very new, very volatile relationship.  Will their relationship survive the revelations?

I haven't decided yet :)

Beginning and Endings

The last time I posted, I was pretty bummed out about losing my job.  To say I was angry is to put it mildly.  I was pissed.  But now, I thank God for that kick in the butt.  Losing that job was the kick that I needed to start living.

Looking back, I haven't really been living, for a while.  I'd just exsist between crisis.  What bills need to be paid, what kid needed attention, what dilemma needed my immediate attention? There was no time for breathing, much lest actively feeding my creative soul.

My daughter turned 17 today.  I look at her and wonder where the years have gone.  In less then a minute, she'll be running off to college to start another chapter of her life.  I'm glad that I will be around to share more of this last year at home with her.  I hope to model balanced womanhood.  I hope her ending childhood is a door to a marvelous adulthood.  I hope she never forgets to feed her creative self or let life get in the way of being happy.

New Chapter

Well, It's been a few days since I got the axe via certified mail.  I've worked out a few list of things to do this week.  It's amazing how when you have all the time in the world, it's hard to find a starting point.

My lists are divided into personal, household and professional.

Personally, I intend to learn to breath again.  I've spent so much of the past 6+ years trying to fit into a system that didn't want me.  I feel like I should have to go through a military-style debriefing

Household needs are easier to define...Organize, Organize...Organize.  From our schedule, which is nonexistent , to the walls of clutter, I know what needs to be done.  The dilemma lies in the order of operations.

Professionally, I'm taking a little vacation from nursing.  The family can't afford my little vacation to be indefinite, but probably a couple of weeks.  Then I'll put together a resume and hit the local temp agencies.  I hate that I traded the money and the freedom of agency work to the security of being on staff.  But I was single then.  Thank God for a supportive mate.

As for my writing, I have several irons in the fire.  I've misplaced my notes on the mythology series so that is on hold.  I'm work on character bios for the mystery series.  And, I just finished the plot outline for the erotic series.  I also have started working a nonfiction project.

I haven't had a real working space...working on that.